This is the first step — because often it is not what they are arguing about. As humans we all have the desire to know and be known by others. How could I have questioned it? Reminder: You are currently impersonating {{userSessionData. Sometimes we just need to be alone in emotional upheaval.
In Parenting
Professional boundaries was posed to us as a possible topic for the Focus on Ethics column. Because we knew that it was an important consideration in all helping professions and that it had not been considered in depth in early childhood education, we were interested in exploring the topic. As we learned more, we came to realize that professional boundaries had as much to do with the professionalism of our field as it did with ethics. Boundaries are an integral part of the identity of every helping profession.
Being aware of and honoring boundaries between practitioners and those they serve is an important professional responsibility. The purpose of this column is to examine this issue with the hope of beginning a conversation about professional boundaries in early childhood education. To help start this discussion, our column is informed by literature from other fields as well as input from experts in early childhood.
Because the topic is large and complex, we have chosen to focus this column on discussion of boundaries that involve early childhood educators and the families and children they serve.
There are also boundary issues between educators and their colleagues and program administrators. We look forward to exploring those in a future column. The following scenarios raise some questions about professional boundaries in early childhood settings. You supplement your income by selling cosmetics at home parties. A child in your class lives near you, and the family car is broken. They ask you to drive the child to and from school until they can afford to get their car fixed.
Should you agree? You are hosting a fundraiser for a political candidate. Is it okay to invite families of children in your class? A family member tells you that she is having trouble sleeping. Is it okay to tell her about a drug that helps you sleep? Is it okay to go out with him? During any year, teachers may be faced with a myriad of situations and questions, such as the ones just listed, what are the boundaries of underage dating involve their personal and professional relationships with young children and families.
In the helping professions medicine, social work, nursing, etc. Professional boundaries help differentiate between actions that are professionally appropriate and those that are inappropriate or unprofessional. They can be represented through the metaphors of lines, fences, or guardrails Doel et al. Professional boundaries are broader and less clear-cut than ethical principles.
Ethical principles describe what professionals must do or must not do. They are consistent across programs e. We must not endanger children, what are the boundaries of underage dating. Professional boundaries are more situation specific and vary more based on circumstances, community, the kind of program, and culture.
Early childhood education as a field is in the process of asserting its right to be called a profession and defining what this means. As members of a profession, early childhood educators, like others in helping professions, need to be thoughtful about recognizing and managing professional boundaries. They are especially important to explore because there are currently no set rules or established norms for professional boundaries in early childhood settings.
Guidelines set by other helping professions can help to identify boundaries for early childhood educators. While their relationships with families will vary depending on the type of program in which teachers work—those in family child care may be quite different from those in a public school kindergarten—in every case, the relationship between teachers and families is not one of equals. Early childhood teachers have power: They have professional knowledge, access to sensitive information, and are authorized by the community to care for and educate young children.
Families have less power in this relationship than the educator. They are required to share personal information with staff who may come from a different ethnic, linguistic, cultural, or socioeconomic background. All families entrust their children to teachers throughout their education, but in the early years, what are the boundaries of underage dating, when children are most vulnerable, these relationships can have a particularly what are the boundaries of underage dating impact.
Professional boundaries help to ensure that teachers use their power well and fairly. Professional teachers understand that their purpose is to use their knowledge and skills to build relationships that support the development of children and that work in partnership with families in the task of child rearing. Families trust early childhood educators to act in the best interests of the child and family.
To maintain that trust, they must practice in a manner consistent with professional standards, including the NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct. Aran enters the infant room with 8-month-old Shanti.
Waiting for you to come to this place. The boundaries between the family—professional partnership and friendship can easily become blurred in early childhood settings.
Early childhood educators work closely with families, and early education settings are often more relaxed and informal than other professional settings. See the table below for some of the differences between social and personal relationships and professional relationships. Professional relationships can appear quite differently in early childhood settings than they do in other helping professions.
Unlike nurses, doctors, librarians, counselors, social workers, or even teachers in most elementary school settings, early childhood educators have a particularly intimate relationship with families:.
Early childhood educators build that trust by ceasing to be strangers, by being human and vulnerable, and by accepting a degree of intimacy. They sustain that trust by developing good relationships and by honoring professional boundaries.
Additionally, it is not uncommon, especially in smaller communities, for teachers to have more than one kind of relationship with a family. For example, a teacher and what are the boundaries of underage dating family member may sing in the same choir, their children may be on the same soccer team, or they may be relatives or have grown up together.
When teachers have a dual relationship a personal connection outside of the professional role what are the boundaries of underage dating a family member, awareness of professional boundaries becomes especially important. Most early childhood educators have had experiences in which they are aware that a boundary has been, or is likely to be, crossed.
Boundary crossings are brief excursions across professional lines of behavior that may be inadvertent, thoughtless, or even a purposeful attempt to meet the needs of a child or family. They are non-exploitative. Boundary violationson the other hand, are exploitative or potentially harmful to children and families. They may not be recognized or felt until harmful consequences occur Doel et al. We asked a group of early childhood educators whose work we respect, who have extensive experience in the field, and who have an interest in ethics and professionalism to help us think about professional boundaries.
They recounted many experiences with boundary crossings and boundary violations, and some themes recurring, significant ideas and examples emerged. Because identifying and maintaining boundaries is the responsibility of the teacher, not the family, it is helpful to have a structure for thinking about them, what are the boundaries of underage dating.
In the middle of the continuum are boundaries that support caring, helpful, and productive teacher—family relationships. Setting and keeping appropriate professional boundaries varies depending on the setting, community, culture, family, and the age of the child involved. For example, in small or close-knit communities and among some cultural groups, families often invite teachers to events like weddings, birthdays, and graduations.
Teachers who regularly fail to attend such events may be viewed as uncaring, and the teacher—family relationship could be damaged. In other settings, attending these kinds of events this would be regarded as inappropriate. There is a gradual transition between the middle and the ends of the continuum, which illustrates the fact that professional boundaries are less clear cut than ethical principles.
At the same time, there are limits: at either end, actions can lead to detrimental consequences to the family, the child, or the teacher—family relationship. Initially, when we asked our selected group of early childhood practitioners about how they knew when they were approaching a boundary crossing or violation and how they addressed these in their work, many of them responded that they were not sure and had never thought about it.
They acknowledged that the issue of professional boundaries had not been a part of their preparation to be a teacher or administrator. Upon further reflection, several recalled an uncomfortable time when they or a colleague had been faced with a challenging situation involving a professional boundary, what are the boundaries of underage dating.
Most indicated that they used past experience and intuition to guide their decision-making and actions. Several indicated that they wished there had been some professional guidance available. Customs and expectations vary enormously between and within families and cultural groups; because of this, most boundary issues are situational. What may seem clear in one situation might not be clear in another program, culture, community, or even with families who share the same culture, as is highlighted in the following vignette.
They speak about their Hawaiian culture proudly. They always use standard English when talking to teachers but use dialect when speaking to their child or one another. How should teachers respond to these two families? We live in diverse communities with diverse expectations of early childhood teachers and families. Even in the same community, what are the boundaries of underage dating, as in the above example from Hawaii, boundaries vary and few are absolute.
Being attentive to individual families and their needs helps teachers to choose professional behavior that acknowledges and accepts differences and demonstrates respect for all children and families. Here are some reflection questions that may help you determine whether you are about to cross a boundary as a professional.
As of this writing, there is no set of established rules or conventions to guide early childhood educators as they navigate professional boundaries. The professional associations of many human service fields have guidelines to help their members establish and what are the boundaries of underage dating appropriate boundaries. We have reviewed guidelines from nursing, psychology, early intervention, social work, and elementary, secondary, and special education.
We shall not use our relationship with a family for private advantage or personal gain or enter into relationships with family members that might impair our effectiveness working with their children. Section P Although this is helpful guidance, it does not explain the importance of or the reasoning behind these ethical principles. Additionally, it does not describe or provide guidance about navigating the professional boundary issues that early childhood educators face.
In this article we have laid a foundation for exploring a topic that has not received very much attention in early childhood education: we outlined what professional boundaries are, how boundaries in the early childhood field are similar and different to those in other professions, how boundary transgressions can occur, and offered general guidelines that can help early childhood educators make decisions regarding professional boundaries related to working with families.
We have always engaged NAEYC members in dialogue to help us develop guidelines for dealing with ethical issues. Similarly, we would like to know your thoughts about professional boundaries. We look forward to hearing your responses to these questions, what are the boundaries of underage dating. Please email them and any thoughts, experiences, and suggestions relating to professional boundaries to editorial naeyc. Our work on professional ethics has always been informed by discussions with groups of early childhood educators who share their best thinking about a particular ethical issue.
Since this type of meeting is not possible at this time, we contacted some knowledgeable colleagues—teachers, administrators, and adult educators—most of whom have collaborated with us in our work on ethics. What are the boundaries of underage dating thank the following people for sharing their insights about professional boundaries: Ingrid Anderson, what are the boundaries of underage dating, Spring Busche-Ong, Marjorie Fields, Ginger Fink, Julie Lee, Nina Martin, Carol Morgaine, Meir Muller, Sherry Nolte, Julie Powers, and Anita Trubitt.
We also wish to thank Early Learning Indiana for bringing this important topic to our attention.
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Professional teachers understand that their purpose is to use their knowledge and skills to build relationships that support the development of children and that work in partnership with families in the task of child rearing. Families trust early childhood educators to act in the best interests of the child and family. To maintain that trust, they must practice in a manner consistent with professional standards, including the NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct.
Aran enters the infant room with 8-month-old Shanti. Waiting for you to come to this place. The boundaries between the family—professional partnership and friendship can easily become blurred in early childhood settings.
Early childhood educators work closely with families, and early education settings are often more relaxed and informal than other professional settings. See the table below for some of the differences between social and personal relationships and professional relationships.
Professional relationships can appear quite differently in early childhood settings than they do in other helping professions. Unlike nurses, doctors, librarians, counselors, social workers, or even teachers in most elementary school settings, early childhood educators have a particularly intimate relationship with families:.
Early childhood educators build that trust by ceasing to be strangers, by being human and vulnerable, and by accepting a degree of intimacy.
They sustain that trust by developing good relationships and by honoring professional boundaries. Additionally, it is not uncommon, especially in smaller communities, for teachers to have more than one kind of relationship with a family.
For example, a teacher and a family member may sing in the same choir, their children may be on the same soccer team, or they may be relatives or have grown up together. When teachers have a dual relationship a personal connection outside of the professional role with a family member, awareness of professional boundaries becomes especially important.
Most early childhood educators have had experiences in which they are aware that a boundary has been, or is likely to be, crossed. Boundary crossings are brief excursions across professional lines of behavior that may be inadvertent, thoughtless, or even a purposeful attempt to meet the needs of a child or family.
They are non-exploitative. Boundary violations , on the other hand, are exploitative or potentially harmful to children and families. They may not be recognized or felt until harmful consequences occur Doel et al. We asked a group of early childhood educators whose work we respect, who have extensive experience in the field, and who have an interest in ethics and professionalism to help us think about professional boundaries.
They recounted many experiences with boundary crossings and boundary violations, and some themes recurring, significant ideas and examples emerged. Because identifying and maintaining boundaries is the responsibility of the teacher, not the family, it is helpful to have a structure for thinking about them. In the middle of the continuum are boundaries that support caring, helpful, and productive teacher—family relationships.
Setting and keeping appropriate professional boundaries varies depending on the setting, community, culture, family, and the age of the child involved. For example, in small or close-knit communities and among some cultural groups, families often invite teachers to events like weddings, birthdays, and graduations. Teachers who regularly fail to attend such events may be viewed as uncaring, and the teacher—family relationship could be damaged.
In other settings, attending these kinds of events this would be regarded as inappropriate. There is a gradual transition between the middle and the ends of the continuum, which illustrates the fact that professional boundaries are less clear cut than ethical principles. At the same time, there are limits: at either end, actions can lead to detrimental consequences to the family, the child, or the teacher—family relationship.
Initially, when we asked our selected group of early childhood practitioners about how they knew when they were approaching a boundary crossing or violation and how they addressed these in their work, many of them responded that they were not sure and had never thought about it. They acknowledged that the issue of professional boundaries had not been a part of their preparation to be a teacher or administrator.
Upon further reflection, several recalled an uncomfortable time when they or a colleague had been faced with a challenging situation involving a professional boundary. Most indicated that they used past experience and intuition to guide their decision-making and actions. Several indicated that they wished there had been some professional guidance available. Customs and expectations vary enormously between and within families and cultural groups; because of this, most boundary issues are situational.
What may seem clear in one situation might not be clear in another program, culture, community, or even with families who share the same culture, as is highlighted in the following vignette.
They speak about their Hawaiian culture proudly. They always use standard English when talking to teachers but use dialect when speaking to their child or one another. How should teachers respond to these two families?
We live in diverse communities with diverse expectations of early childhood teachers and families. Even in the same community, as in the above example from Hawaii, boundaries vary and few are absolute. Being attentive to individual families and their needs helps teachers to choose professional behavior that acknowledges and accepts differences and demonstrates respect for all children and families.
Here are some reflection questions that may help you determine whether you are about to cross a boundary as a professional. As of this writing, there is no set of established rules or conventions to guide early childhood educators as they navigate professional boundaries. The professional associations of many human service fields have guidelines to help their members establish and maintain appropriate boundaries.
We have reviewed guidelines from nursing, psychology, early intervention, social work, and elementary, secondary, and special education. We shall not use our relationship with a family for private advantage or personal gain or enter into relationships with family members that might impair our effectiveness working with their children. Section P Although this is helpful guidance, it does not explain the importance of or the reasoning behind these ethical principles. Additionally, it does not describe or provide guidance about navigating the professional boundary issues that early childhood educators face.
In this article we have laid a foundation for exploring a topic that has not received very much attention in early childhood education: we outlined what professional boundaries are, how boundaries in the early childhood field are similar and different to those in other professions, how boundary transgressions can occur, and offered general guidelines that can help early childhood educators make decisions regarding professional boundaries related to working with families.
We have always engaged NAEYC members in dialogue to help us develop guidelines for dealing with ethical issues. Similarly, we would like to know your thoughts about professional boundaries. We look forward to hearing your responses to these questions. Please email them and any thoughts, experiences, and suggestions relating to professional boundaries to editorial naeyc. Our work on professional ethics has always been informed by discussions with groups of early childhood educators who share their best thinking about a particular ethical issue.
Since this type of meeting is not possible at this time, we contacted some knowledgeable colleagues—teachers, administrators, and adult educators—most of whom have collaborated with us in our work on ethics. We thank the following people for sharing their insights about professional boundaries: Ingrid Anderson, Spring Busche-Ong, Marjorie Fields, Ginger Fink, Julie Lee, Nina Martin, Carol Morgaine, Meir Muller, Sherry Nolte, Julie Powers, and Anita Trubitt.
We also wish to thank Early Learning Indiana for bringing this important topic to our attention. American Nurses Association. Code of Ethics for Nurses with Interpretive Statements. Austin, W. Barron, C. Bryson, S. London: Directory of Social Change.
Doel, M. Professional Boundaries: Crossing a Line or Entering the Shadows? British Journal of Social Work 40 6 : — Early Intervention Specialists. Kemp, J. Moving On: Professional Boundaries and Transitions in Early Intervention, Education, and Care. National Council of State Boards of Nursing. NAEYC National Association for the Education of Young Children. Washington, DC: NAEYC. NASW National Association of Social Workers.
Stephanie Feeney, PhD, is professor emerita of education at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. Stephanie has written extensively about professionalism and ethics and has been deeply involved in developing the NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct, revising the Code, and developing the supplements for adult educators and program administrators. Not only will establishing boundaries with other people help keep your teen safe, but it also can help protect their mental health.
Being in an unhealthy relationship or experiencing dating abuse has a number of negative consequences. If your teen has people in their lives such as fake friends , a controlling dating partner, or an adult that makes them feel uncomfortable, disrespected, or unworthy, they need to consider setting boundaries with those people.
Allowing people to treat them in unhealthy ways not only leads to unhealthy relationships, but it also can impact your teen mentally and emotionally. Like adults, teens run into a variety of different scenarios in their relationships. They might need to tell one friend that they're not comfortable sharing their homework and let another know they don't want to gossip about other people. Perhaps another friend is particularly bossy and another borrows money all the time. These are all scenarios where setting boundaries can be helpful.
Teens may even find themselves in situations where they need to communicate their feelings about sex or drinking. The point is, your teen will run into a number of different situations throughout their life that challenge their values and their beliefs and knowing how to set boundaries can help them stay safe and be true to who they are.
Here are some tips for setting boundaries:. Learning to recognize and label different feelings is not as easy as it sounds. It takes work for your teen to stop and think about how they are feeling in any given situation. They may recognize that they're upset, but are they angry, frustrated, or sad? Being able to pinpoint how they are feeling is the first step in setting boundaries. Let your teen know that they should always trust their intuition.
If something feels wrong or off about a situation, it probably is. They are not being dramatic or overly sensitive regardless of what other people say. The point is that they need to be true to who they are—not what someone else expects them to be.
Sometimes teens need help determining what a healthy relationship or friendship looks like. Regularly talk to them about what constitutes a healthy friendship or dating relationship as well as what respect looks like.
It's not uncommon for teens to accept unhealthy behaviors in others, but when they do they are compromising their self-worth. Remind them that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect and that if someone is not treating them well, they may need to set some limits with that person. Most relationships today have a digital component. Talk to your teen about digital etiquette , sexting , and digital dating abuse.
Make sure they know how to stay safe online as well as set boundaries with people who are violating their values. Setting boundaries is hard and takes a lot of practice.
It also is something that requires some thought and decision-making. For this reason, teens need some basic phrases that buy them some time. Some examples include: "Let me think about that and get back to you," "No thank you.
I'm not comfortable with that," or "Let me talk to my parents and let you know tomorrow. Having a few phrases they can say in the heat of the moment keeps them from getting wrapped in the chaos or giving in to peer pressure. Establishing boundaries with another person isn't easy—even for some adults.
For this reason, teens need to practice in a safe environment with people they know love them unconditionally. Allow your teen to say "no" to things and to set personal boundaries. This might mean letting family members know that they need space sometimes or it might mean not visiting with extended family when they have a huge exam coming up.
Encourage your teen to develop autonomy and independence at home by allowing them to voice their opinions and make decisions.
Too many times, teens fall into the trap of believing that they need to be all things to their friends. Stress that every friendship is different and will play a different role in their lives. Being a good friend, doesn't require agreement on every single issue. In fact, having different opinions or beliefs is what makes relationships so interesting. Empower your teen to be authentic and find healthy friendships.
One of the best ways to teach your teen good boundary-setting skills is to model the behavior in your own life. Evaluate your relationships with others. Are you setting a good example by establishing boundaries with people who try to take advantage of you or don't treat you well?
If not, start setting boundaries in your own life as well. Sometimes it's much easier for a teen to just let things go or not say anything when a friend or dating partner crosses the line.
But, not setting boundaries is risky and could even put them at risk. Even if nothing serious happens in the relationship, not setting boundaries can lead to resentment and damage the friendship. It's just as important that your teen respect other people's boundaries as it is for them to establish their own.
In fact, healthy relationships are built upon mutual respect and ongoing communication. Sometimes boundaries are confusing for young people. While they may understand the concept and importance of establishing boundaries with other people, they may not know what those boundaries look like in real life.
Therefore, it's important to talk about what constitutes a healthy boundary and what is unhealthy. You may even want to point out where they are lacking boundaries. Healthy boundaries keep your teen safe emotionally and physically without trying to control or manipulate another person.
They establish your teen's wants and needs without infringing on another person's rights and needs. Here are some examples:. As teens learn about boundaries, sometimes they will take them too far or they won't erect boundaries at all. Both scenarios can be problematic. For this reason, it's important to highlight where you teen might need to erect some boundaries, or even lighten up a little bit. Learning how to set boundaries is something every young person needs to know how to do.
Ideally, you want to talk to your kids about how to set boundaries before things in a friendship or dating relationship get too challenging. After all, having healthy boundaries is part of having a healthy sense of self-worth.
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